For a moment tonight, I was taken back to a day in early September in high school years. “Misty, I gotta talk to you…”
And it all came tumbling out.
What is it about confessing our sins, one to another, in the bounds of the Love of God which makes our hearts lighter, our burden’s easier, and the way ahead so much more clear?? Whatever it is, it works, and it makes me think that maybe God really did give us an owner’s manual…
That day, way back then, started a revolution within me that is still, to this day, on going. A “revolution” because it is not easy – and often a fight… A revolution of being honest about where I’m at, what my struggles are. A revolution of love.
Not that eros stuff that makes us “twitterpated”, tho that can & does enter into the fight .
Not the human looking out for number one stuff that we call tough love either, tho it also often enters the battle.
No, the Love of God. The “God is Love” kinda love. 1 Corinthians 13 stuff.. Look up “God is” sometime in an online concordance – nine times out of ten, the adjective is an attribute of love. Merciful, showing kindness, longsuffering… LOVE.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12 Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
I’ve been thinking these past few weeks about my life, about all the hardship, pain, struggle, healing, joy, heartache… How have I gotten thru, Why have I made the decisions I’ve made? How have I walked them out?
I’ve realized that it comes down to a simple four letter word – LOVE.
Repeatedly, without end, it seems, I’ve asked myself, and God – who is LOVE; What would Your Love have me do here? In this? Sometimes it’s been moment by moment, sometimes its been day by day. Sometimes, I’ve failed to love well, or failed to even ask the question – with painful consequences. However, in the times that I have asked, in the times that I’ve followed this Partner, who is Love, out onto the dance floor of His Love, the results have been beautiful, stunning, healing!!
Tonight, it seems ‘we’ve’ come full circle. When we look at our lives, we don’t always see big picture. It’s hard to look ahead, or even back, a year, a few years – to see the trendline, the growth, the maturity, the walking it out…
Tonight tho, it was clear – 20 years – big picture, full circle, back to the beginning, iron sharpening iron, leaving the conversation with the same message; then it was unchartered territory with no map … this time with years of deeply personal experience to back it up –
Yes – allow Love to be prioritized, YHWH, spouse, children, family, close friends, acquaintances…
But, in that, Love Well.
The caller thought the message was for them, it’s what they had called for. …
It was a message I needed too.
I don’t want to admit it, but I’ve become the striving, controlling woman. My heart has been broken too many times, and I relate to those closest to me out of deep and previously unrecognized fear. I’ve been here before; 6-9 mos out from a devastating blow, having made the choices to follow Love, to walk it out, but now the wounds start to show up, now is the time for true heart healing in the framework of that Love. That’s where I am today.
I want to be the woman who choses love, always. Not human types of love, but 1 Cor 13 love – for myself, for others. There’s pain, and brokenness inside tho, and sometimes I relate out of the Fear of that pain being touched on, rather than Love, even for myself.
I’ve asked Yeshua to heal me here… So, I’m sure I’m about to be on a journey toward healing… Pray with me?