A few Sabbath’s ago, I was truly wrestling thru how best to live, as a single woman, freely in who & how He created me. Being created in His image, I have a lot of passion, am self aware and am very aware of my femininity. As I’ve grown, this feminine passion for life, joy, hopes, dreams, love has also grown to the point of regularly overflowing … Previously, I’ve poured that into my marriage… Now I’m left with a void. I don’t want to be nor would it be healthy to be in a relationship right now, so that’s not an option…
Where do I pour what and who I am as a vibrant woman into something safely?
I stopped along the beautiful Cullasaja river in a small scenic gorge, and sat with Yahweh, with this question for a long time…
The river is a bit reminiscent of this space I’m in – there are quiet edies in which leaves lazily float – those quiet times when I sit and write, take in a breathtaking view, etc… and there is also this constant movement, the pouring of itself with passionate leaps and bounds down the mountain.
As I sat in the noise of the rushing river, and laid down all my longing and need before Him, He gave me peace in that moment to rest there in the warm autumn sun, in His Love, which is enough for me… A few minutes later, as we continued to talk an anthem welled up within me. It was Spirit within me and my own spirit in unison.
“Dance. Must Dance!!!”
This isn’t an “I want to” or “must” because I desire to so much, altho the desire is there for sure. This is a matter of my survival. I must dance.
Over the years, my heart has grown way too full to be able to keep it inside… It must overflow. Trying to hold it in would cause an internal explosion…
This blog post is a reminder, a waymark, an “altar” of what I knew to be His direction in that moment. Dance (specifically ballet) is a place I can safely pour my passion & energy into. When in shape, I can easily spend 2 hrs in freestyle “ballet”. I’m exhausted at the end, but in a deliciously wonderful way.
So… my next hurdle will be to get up early in the mornings to condition to the point of being able to resume ballet classes… I can’t wait!!
What a relief to have an answer to my wrestling!!
I was literally in tears.
Dance. I must dance!
The next one, less than a mile later that I visited was Bridal Veil Falls… I think, perhaps, someone was confused when these falls were named and they switched the name placards around! For Bridal looks quite dry, and Dry looks, from the underside quite like a Bridal Veil !!
Later I needed a nap thanks to a little boy who had been awake from 3 am till about 5 am. So I bought a hammock (something I’d been wanting for a while) then went to a small lake to find a place to hang it and sleep.
The view from my hammock
In Looking UP, to Him, I find the answers for my life, for my heart, for being true to Me and all that He created me to be!!
Enjoy the slideshow from the day…