I’m always amazed, when I look back a few months, or a few years, to see the Way in which Yehovah has led me.
On May 18 I received a “word” which took me a couple months to process, but by July 12, I had fully assented to the surrender involved. I posted a blog about it in August, found here: The Sovereignty of Yehovah .
Sometime shortly after July 12, I started asking YHVH –
“What’s the next thing? what’s the next area of growth, healing, etc, that you have for me??”
By July 27 I had my answer and wrote the following Grateful list:
“Sabbath is here. My boys are asleep. I went to see my grandpa yesterday. I can see the floor in my bedroom . The boys’ lungs are CLEAR! (cough still but no lung congestion). Mathias’ coughs are shorter and less frequent. Cherries. Good friends. Phone calls and emails. Popcorn & smoothies. His restoration. Collecting Puzzle Pieces. Worship streamed from The Vineyard. Good teaching. Encouragement to do what I already have been told by Him to do (Jubilee rest, parent my boys well & learn Hebrew – feel free to ask me about that in a few weeks, posting it here for the additional accountability). The forecast which says the low tonight will be 68! Sabbath! His Love.”
When He told me I needed to order my home and parent my boys well, that my “next thing” was to learn new ways of parenting, I was overwhelmed. I told Him, “You’re going to have to help me, I don’t even know where to start!! Please help me, please send people into my life who will have words to say to help me.”
Next, He began preparing my heart for a cleansing process, and by August 18/19 was whispering in my ear,
“As a Bride prepares for her Bridegroom“.
Writing about His whispers, in “The Wedding Feast to Come” posted on my birthday a month later, I said;
“I didn’t take that in a human sense of preparing for a human groom, tho I suppose if I’m prepared for my Heavenly Bridegroom, then I’d also be prepared for an earthly groom as well… But… No, the sense was following Him deeper into the purifying process that a Bride of His ancient culture went thru. Baths and Oils and Mother relationships and having one’s space and environment ”in order”, lamps trimmed, oil on reserve, wedding gown of pure white linen prepared for the call of the Shofar announcing the coming of the groom.
I’ll be honest to say, I’m not even sure where to start, and so, like last year, when He directed me to “Let go”, I have to ask Him, “Show me how!” And, I know He will. I know, given the events of the last year and how He answered last year’s question – that 3 months from now, I’ll be able to look back and say, “Oh, Wow!! Look how He led me, “as the Bride prepares for her Bridegroom!” Step by Step, each building on the other, How incredible is He!” ”
LOL!!! Wow – was that ever true!!!! Here I am, 3 months and 10 days later, laughing delightedly saying, “Oh, Wow!! Look how He led me, “as the Bride prepares for her Bridegroom!” Step by Step, each building on the other, How incredible is He?!” 😀
Following Sept 20, I’ve been kinda quiet, cause, guess what – He had me in the purifying process, in the “spiritual baths”, anointing oils and Mother relationships. 🙂 I’d seen clearly, the weekend of Sept 16, one such “Mother” relationship that was growing. I knew it was an answer to a many years old prayer I’d had for an older woman who was willing to teach me, the younger.
Even so, when we finalized plans to spend Sukkot with this “Older Woman” and her son on Sept 24th, I had no idea what Yehovah had in store for me!! When, on the first day of Sukkot, we watched online as Arthur preached about the children who “tabernacle” with us, and said, “I have no idea why I’m saying this,” my response was “probably cause somebody needs to hear it” – I had no clue “I” was that somebody. An hour or so later, fireside, talking about Arthur stepping on my toes, and my need to be consistent in parenting, my brother in Yeshua said, “Yep, kinda goes to the ‘let your Yes be Yes and your No be No’ ” and it began to slowly dawn on me. Later, in the kitchen, when I asked my dear Sister in Yeshua to pray about something relating to my children with me, to give me insight if she had it – it became really clear.
“Misty, Yehovah woke me early this morning. He has some work for us to do. You aren’t just here to celebrate Sukkot. If you are willing, I’m willing to walk with you thru this. Yehovah has some incredible healing for you.”
We talked more about what would be required, and then I had a few hours to consider carefully my choice. Just a day and a half before, I’d gotten a phone call that had put doubt in my mind as to their integrity, and tho I’d had peace about coming, and knew this was where I was to celebrate Sukkot, there was still a conscious decision necessary to submit to what Yehovah had for me within these relationships, during this time – to trust Him, and them. After the boys were in bed, I’d made my decision and said to them both, “Ok, I’m willing. Let’s do it. I’ve sat in your places before, ministering to others in my home. I’ve never sat in this seat, the ‘ministered to’ seat. It’s a little scary for me, cause I know I have to be open and honest, and willing to change, but I’m willing – this is an answer to prayer!”
So, we talked about my own rebellion which was causing me to allow my children to rebel, and we talked about what was necessary (my own repentance & then discipline of both myself and them) to bring them out of rebellion and into obedience. I was offered some very clear direction to begin putting into practice the very next day – From instructing them from Scripture, to correction when they were disobedient, to encouragement for the journey I was embarking on.
Two days later, Yehovah had shown my mentor friend more of a glimpse of the refining fire He had for me, and she submitted for my consideration, the idea of us staying an extra week to work it thru – which, after some time in prayer, I agreed to.
And so, the following week, on the day after the Last Great Day of Sukkot – we drove to my house in the mountains, dropped the boys off at a babysitter, cleared the land of some spiritual yuck, and started into a Beautiful curriculum of books published by the ministry Be In Health. Take the four streams referred to in Waking the Dead by John Eldredge (one of my favorite books of his) and put it into practice and you get something that looks like my journey thru the Be In Health books this fall.
In summary – As followers of Messiah, we are promised and desire the Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit) to be present in us. We want the fruit of the Spirit – Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Meekness, Self Control. However, often we experience the opposite kinds of fruit – Envy, Jealousy, Rejection, Abandonment, Fear, Rage, Bitterness, Murder (often with the tongue), Unloving, Self-Centeredness, Addictions…
These are also fruit of a spirit – the spirits of our enemy & his underlings, whom we have come into agreement with, believing lies about ourselves, God, others, the world at large. When we agree with these fruits in our lives, and when we live in accordance to our beliefs, we suffer the consequences, first in our spirits, then our emotions, and finally in our physical bodies. The Rabbi’s weren’t wrong to ask Yeshua about who sinned, the Torah is very clear, in Duet 28 that there are blessings that come in obedience to Yehovah’s instructions for Abundant life and there are curses in the midst of disobedience. Those curses often come as a natural consequence.
For instance – If I come into agreement with Fear, and live my life in a fearful manner, my body will soon come into agreement with my mind, and it will begin to react in fear, to life – constriction of the cells – allowing neither good stuff in, nor bad stuff out – causing malnutrition and toxic buildup. In addition, the blood vessels constrict, the arteries constrict in the midst of this fear, and guess what – heart problems develop. In fact, Yeshua mentioned this in Luke 21, when talking of things to come, said that men’s hearts would fail them due to fear…
So, the ministry of Be In Health helps us recognize where the agreements are, where the strongholds are in our lives, which hold us to the fruit of unholy spirits. We then repent, renounce, cast the foes out of our lives, and pray for the Holy Spirit to work out His healing and paradigm shift in our lives, and then renew our minds daily with the washing of the Word. As we come more fully into agreement with Him, and bear out His Fruit, often not only our hearts are healed, but our bodies also!!!!
My Mother friend was gentle and kind, tho not sparing as we read thru these books, prayed for guidance, and found the things in my life needing repentance, renouncing and freedom from. My Brother friend was equally gentle and kind, supporting in the background, occasionally giving the extra boot I needed, and confirmations phrased a different way; as we spent the following 5 days (with a Sabbath break) – morning time for me homeschooling with the boys, afternoon counseling and warfare, evenings fellowship fireside, back at their mountain home. I don’t think I have ever been confronted so directly, honestly and openly yet with so much of Yehovah’s unconditional love. Ever. Confrontation has almost always before come with a barb, a catch, a spirit that left me uneasy. It had never come in this amount of love and patience tempered with firm direction. This was truly, Yehovah’s Refining Fire!!!
In the mist of this, I was also graced, with instruction on how to run my home, how to instruct my children as Princes in the Kingdom of Yehovah rather than jokers, how to order my days and discipline firmly in love – correcting in one fell swoop both MY heart issues and theirs. I was to take what I was learning, turn it around and teach it immediately to my children.
It was hard. It was beautiful. It was redemptive. It was healing. It was deeply good and complete gift.
Isn’t Yehovah awesome!!?? His cleansing fire can truly be trusted!!!
I came home with four books to continue my journey, one I have yet to finish. I read them on the weekends, walking into more realizations about myself, more repentance, more cleansing.
Finally, just this last Wednesday, while spending time with my Mentor, Yehovah took me thru the last big strongholds. I’d had some questions about myself and my struggles that had long needed answers, which found their resting place. Some are truly earth-shattering for me personally.
I truly am free. HalleluYah!!!
One simple example would be that a year ago in 2011, during the week of Thanksgiving, I began wrestling with all I knew about the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, the baptism of the Holy Spirit, and the gifts of the Spirit – including tongues. I was having a hard time reconciling what I knew to be true about my relationship with Him and what I’d always been taught vs what I was learning. At my birthday, a dear friend had written in a card, “Abba is in You !! :)” There was something deep within which didn’t want to accept that. Yehovah showed me this week that it was a lying spirit, intent on making me mealy-mouthed, and not willing to speak the Truth within me with authority. By the grace and authority of Yeshua, my Messiah and Redeemer, I’ve repented of agreeing with the liar and his friends and kicked them out of my life for good.
Now, as I walk out the healing Yeshua has wrought, I get to speak the Truth Yehovah has for me to speak, with Authority – starting with how I instruct and train my children. 😀
This past Monday evening, my dear friends and I watched Jim Staley’s “Who is the Bride of Messiah?” part 2 . In the midst of that teaching, Yehovah spoke some very clear things to my heart, and gave me instructions for the next part of my journey, of my “cleansing” process. This Fall was about the Spiritual cleansing & the Refiner’s Fire… it’s now time to take that into the physical. It’s now time to “Walk it out”. It’s time to purify my body, to claim the healing He has already begun, to truly bring my children into obedience and training as Yehovah’s mighty men of Valor, to go thru my home and remove the things that would tie me to the past. I’m walking into new life of “Becoming the Beloved”. This autumn, Spiritually, Legally, and Emotionally I’ve undergone a HUGE cleansing from my past – both recent past and years in the making. It’s now time to let go of the physical baggage of my past also .. It’s time for “Spring Cleaning”!
So, if you don’t hear from me for the next few months – you now know why. I’m still in the midst of the Cleansing that Yehovah has ordained for me!! I don’t know where I’ll be in 3 mos, but as in September, I can say, I trust Him! I know I’ll look back 3 mos from now and say, “Wow! look at all Yehovah has done!!”
I’ll end with a prayer.. A prayer I wrote and prayed Sept 20, 2012. He’s answered it in some incredible ways already, and I know He will continue to answer it, cause My Elohim is just Good that way! 😀
Yehovah, Prepare me, as the Bride for You, the Bridegroom.
I surrender to whatever You have for me in this season.
To the cleansing, the purifying, the refining, the surrender.
Show me how; give strength where it is needed,
humility also, wisdom, courage…
and the willingness to just rest
in the midst of milk baths and anointing oils and wedding dress creating.
In the midst of wound cleansing, healing salve applications.
To neither move ahead of you, nor run away in fear of my weaknesses.
But to surrender all of me, my hopes and dreams, my emotions and passions
my weaknesses and failures, my striving and planning
into Your faithfulness and Love.
Thru the gifts of others, You’ve given me the gift of permission to be Woman
Continue to Create me now, to be the the true Beauty that You ordained
Before the World began!
May I fully reflect the glory You have for me to Reflect!
Show me how best to work with, or just BE with You in the process of Becoming…
That process of Becoming the Beloved.
I dedicate my All to You, for I will follow you all the Days of my Life!
My Lover, and My King, My Redeemer and my Friend, My Creator and Protector
Yeshua, my Messiah